Marriages were always arranged and were conducted with all simplicity but with elegance. The parents and elders of the proposed boy and girl meet and agree on a nominal amount as dowry and marriage is finalized by putting a golden chain on the boy by the bride’s brother. This agreement is officiated in betrothal or engagement conducted in the church where the priest officially gets the consent of the boy and girl. This is also a celebrated in a simple way. Then three banns are announced on three consecutive Sundays before the marriage. Rich people make some difference even in the announcement of the banns by asking the priest to keep the document on a new cloth presented by them and it later goes to the priest for stitching cassock. For the banns the girl is given new dress, especially for the first one. On the previous day of the first banns sweets and plantain are sent to the boy’s house. This was carried in a wooden box.
The celebration of marriage was on the bride’s house for which they used to put up a ‘pandal’ a temporary hall. Even the pole erecting for this was a ceremonial function and the celebrations officially begins from that day onwards. In that pandal only they make flour for sweets and grind spices for curries and cook sweets and so on days ahead. On the previous day the pandal used to be decorated and illuminated and songs used to be played for almost the whole night with loud speakers atop of a tree.
On the eve of the marriage there used to be ceremony at the groom’s residence. In this the groom is ceremonially given a shave which lasts for hours. For this friends and relatives are invited and are given a high tea and they in turn donate an amount, usually coins dropped in a bowl of milk which goes to the barber.
On the day of the marriage the groom goes in procession, accompanied by processional music played by village artists and at times even martial art performances, to the bride’s house and was received at the entrance of the pandal by the bride’s brother and elders with garlands, sandal paste and rose water. Then the bride is received by the sister of the groom and taken to the church again in the same procession for the blessing of the marriage. Afterwards there used to be a party at the bride’s residence for all the invitees from both sides and gifts and sweets are exchanged.
The groom stays for seven days in the bride’s house and then takes her to his house. She stays their till she is taken back to her parents’ house for child birth by her parents and relatives after presenting sweets and other gifts to the in-laws. A new house for the new family is usually built after the birth of the first child.
Child birth is also another ceremony for which the girl is prepared elaborately with other accompanying preparations like collecting necessary firewood, swaddling cloths and the rest. Child is born at home, assisted by the village mid wife. Immediately after child birth the mother is given some kind of alcoholic drinks to energize her and the child is given few drops of wine so as to clean the tongue of the child. The new mother is kept at home for forty days with minutest care and then only she is taken to the church for purification rites and the child baptized. Baptism was always done outside the Mass and again rich people ask the priest to sing “Lauda te” wearing a cope and to ring the church bells by paying a special fee. The god-parents are an important people in the life of the child.
At the age of five not all children go to the school. But all of them will go for catechism in preparation for First Communion. Between the age of 8 to 12 children are given first communion. It is given along with some important church feasts. Again the so – called rich make it a celebration involving party and exchange of gifts.
This is followed by Confirmation after few years and it is always given by the bishop usually once in five years. This is also preceded by a period of preparation.
The girls’ coming of age is another ceremony and some celebrate it too. Here again the girl is treated in isolation with special food for some days. Then she is given a ceremonial bath usually by the first aunt who is the wife of the eldest maternal uncle. That aunt brings new dress in the form of half sari for the girl. Till marriage she wears half saris only. Hereafter she is not supposed to mingle with boys as she used to be and is treated respectfully. This is the time from when the parents search for a suitable boy for her to be given in marriage.
When the husband dies, the wife becomes a widow and usually remains single even if she is young. After the funeral, the widow’s ‘tali’ is taken off her by the sister-in-law and is given a white sari by the brother-in-law. She is then anointed and taken for a bath. This is followed by some kind of party as most of them were not taking regular food, other than some coffee or so.
When some one is dead, it is reported to the church where they ring the bell in a specific tone to inform the village of the death. They send the Crucifix, candles and small bell as a sign of the parish’s solidarity with the dead and his family. The body of the deceased is bathed and put on new cloths and stockings for the feet and gloves for the hands. Then the body is kept in a prominent place for viewing accompanied by the mourning. Womenfolk usually do the mourning with loud cries praising his/her glories and achievements called ‘oppari’. Messengers are sent to inform family people and friends in different villages. This was usually done by the barber and he is given again a donation by those people whom he informs. Usually the funeral is conducted on the following day. The dead body is taken to the church in procession and the way is marked by coconut leaves. Most of the villagers join in the funeral service. Grave is dug by the barber and the dead is buried after the Mass.
Church and Liturgy:
The church was present in everyone’s life from birth to death through various sacraments. This made the life in the villages orbiting around the church.
Every village in the early 60s had its own church, other than Chinnathurai, whether it was a parish or not. May be this was because of the convent chapel and the grotto near there. Wherever a priest resided, they had daily Mass in the morning. For this Mass people from the villages having no priest would go. But people, especially the elderly women, go to the church as early as 5 am, when the church would be opening. From then onwards they carry on with some devotion or other. Usually one can find some one in the church always. In the evening again people come more in number for such devotions like that of St. Joseph in March, Blessed Virgin Mary in May, Sacred Heart in June and of Rosary in October, Thursday devotions of the Holy hour, and the Way of the Cross through out the year, especially during Lent. During Lent at night people in groups sing the Passion stories and other devotional stories like that of St. Alex and so on. And this is called ‘Sindhu’ or ‘Elelakkummi’.
In the evenings men also come in good number for individual prayers. These men were usually the ones who go for hook and line fishing and also others. Mothers used to bring their children with them. In the morning and evenings there used to be catechism in preparation for the First Communion. Otherwise it is on Sunday mornings.
For Angelus the church bell will ring at 5 in the morning, 12 noon and 6 in the evening. For the evening Angelus a small bell is being rung around the village and children used to kneel down and the bell ringer used to place the bell on them as a sing of blessings. At 8 pm church bell will ring to remind the faithful to pray for the departed souls.
The devotion to the departed souls is very close to each one of us. People don’t compromise offering Mass for their departed beloved ones. And the November 2nd All Souls day is like a celebration where the loved ones of the deceased decorate the tombs of their loved ones and also ask the priest bless the tomb and pray over it. This is also paid. Before important occasions like Marriage or introducing a new net or boat or house warming, people used to host a party for the neglected ones in the village or surrounding places. People always hosted such people whenever they came to their house for help or alms.
Family prayer at night was the beauty of all our houses.
When people fall sick, the priest is called in to anoint the sick and give Communion to them. At such occasions when priest carries the Sacrament, it was accompanied by candles and the ringing of the bells and so people on the way kneel down to pay homage to the Blessed Sacrament. Consecration of the families to the Sacred Heart is also an important function and the priest is invited in every house.
The priest used to be all in all in the village. He may have first aid things for emergencies. He only manages the finance of the parish almost all alone. The owners of the shore seine used to be his advisors. Once in a year he used to present the accounts of the coconut yields and the shares from the fish catch. It was only a nominal exercise as no one questioned his integrity.
In the church there used to be a sacristan who was called ‘kanakkapillai’ as it was he who is supposed to help the priest in accounting. Besides him there used to be a musician and the official choir was in Latin even after the second Vatican council for quite some time. Till the late sixties the liturgy was in Latin but for the homily and few songs. All other devotions were in Tamil. There used to be a sexton who rings the bell, opens and closes the church, cleanses it, lit and maintain the sanctuary lamp and so on. He was not paid, but given a share in the Mass stipend and also a share from the catches from the sea.
There used to be small shrines in almost all the villages. Around this also there used to be devotions. Besides the church feast, such feasts also were celebrated. The church feast used to be the most important event of the village. It extends for nine to thirteen days. On the first day flag is hoisted and on the following days there used to be Rosary, Litany and benediction of the Blessed Sacrament. These were the days for some serious preaching and guest priest are invited for this. On these days there used to be cultural programs for entertainment. On the eve and the day of the feast there used to be a concelebrated celebration and the neighboring priests are invited and they were given a big banquet. People also celebrate it very grandly inviting friends and relatives and giving them parties. On such days only the First Communion for children is given. This adds to the celebration mood.
On such feasts and on the feasts of Christmas and Easter people get new clothing and wear it. August 15 is the Assumption of Our Lady and also the Independence Day of India. This day is a day of obligation. On this day a special kind of rice pudding is made at homes. This is the time when people play swings tied on two coconut trees. This is mainly for girls.
Another aspect of religiosity is the Confraternities for men and women. That of men are very ostentatious and they celebrate their feast very well. For funerals and feasts these fraternities are an added decoration. In this account something need to be mentioned of a ‘Jebakkoodam’ at Thoothoor where men of the neighboring villages lived some kind of consecrated life away from their homes in prayer and penance. From this lay institutions there were quite a number of vocations for religious life.
Occupational celebrations:
When a new net or boat is made, it is celebrated at least among those who work in that net or boat. They make sweetened rice and distribute it along with plantains, jaggarie and coconut pieces. The one who makes the net or boat is rewarded with new cloths and pecuniary gifts. The boat maker is known as ‘Odaavi’ and the net maker is known as ‘Madikkatti.’ They used to be generous with the first catch and distribute it with as many people as possible. The priest is invited to bless the equipments. They also offer special Masses, especially for the deceased in the family. Mass for the dead is a kind of must before all important functions in the family.
Entertainments and Games:
People of our area are also interested in drama and singing. In some villages there were drama clubs and they present dramas once in a year or so, especially in connection with the church feast or the anniversary of catechism classes or some Pious Associations like Legion of Mary, Sodality or even this clubs.
In all the villages there used to be a choir in which mostly girls were members. They sang comparatively well. Men joined them during feast days or on Adoration days.
There used to be very many traditional games. Most of them are almost extinct now due to the fancy for games like cricket and so on. We did have some kind of cricket or base ball. It was called “Mattayum Panthum” meaning bat and ball. It was team game and when one team plays the other fields. There used to be four spots marked on the sand. The one who bowls or throw the ball stand at the center and the one who bats, bats and run around the spots and when he completes the four spots he gets one point.
There is also a local hockey called “Urulyadai” or “Ammanayadi”. This is played just at the beach where the waves wash the sand. The fix to terminals and the one which crosses the other’s terminal wins. The ball is usually one made out of rubber wastes or plastic wastes. The ball could go to the sea also.
There are other games like “Kilithattu,” “Chicku vilayattu,” and for children “Kallanum Policum,” “Chuttiyum Kambum” “Goli kali or kachi vilayattu” and so on. There were some kinds of indoor games also. Such are the “Kuriyana kallen veettile…” and the “Oosoosi… kaka parakka…” and so on. The ones for women and girls are “Pandy vilayattu” and “Kattan vilayattu.”
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